The Grief Map, Disenfranchised Losses Floor Check, and Experiential Letter Writing

Experiential letter-writing, is the easiest way to incorporate role play into your practice or group. After “writing a letter” the part of self, other person, object, period of life, or personal trait (e.g. addiction) can be embodied by using an empty chair or role player to represent them.

Embodying a loss allows clients to move the loss from being locked within the self to placing it outside the self where it can be looked at more objectively. Clients can speak “to” and then reverse roles and speak “as” that person or part. The simple movement in and out of this inner state makes the loss feel less “sticky” inside the self and provides space and perspective.

While loss is a natural part of life, the types of losses we encounter through addiction, relational trauma, and adverse childhood experiences can feel hidden and unworthy of attention. These losses can lack visibility and clarity. They are hidden and oftentimes remain unseen or misread by others. And there can be confusion as to exactly who or what has been lost or whether there is a loss at all. The very fact that they remain buried, unrecognized and unsupported, can complicate mourning and block our process of healing. Grieving these kinds of losses experientially can bring about change on the inside that leads to change on the outside. Mourning a loss of a connection to self, to someone significant, to a period of life, to addiction and/or dysfunction is an important part of healing from adult relational trauma.